The Paradox of Choice in Dating: How to Choose & Commit

November 5, 2025
October 7, 2025
Every six months, General Conference gives us a spiritual reset
September 29, 2025
General Conference is more than just a weekend of talks and delicious conference treats.
September 1, 2025
For many singles, dating is already complex by having to balance careers, faith, friendships, and personal goals. But within LDS culture especially, the expectations around marriage can feel even heavier. For example, family members can express their hopes with well-meaning questions: “ So, when are you getting married ?” or “ Have you met someone yet ?” While rooted in love, these questions can create stress rather than support. Where Does the Pressure Come From? Cultural Tradition Marriage has always been central in LDS teachings and culture. Older generations, raised in times when people typically married younger, can project that same timeline onto today’s daters. Expressions of Love and Concern Grandparents or parents can sometimes see marriage as a way to ensure happiness, stability, and that eternal family connection. Their questions, though repetitive, often stem from love and a desire to want their loved ones to be happy. Generational Differences Today’s dating landscape is vastly different from education, careers, and personal growth that often extend the timeline. Many family members may not fully understand the modern challenges singles face in finding a compatible partner. The Impact of Pressure Feeling pressured can sometimes lead to rushed decisions, unnecessary guilt, or frustration. Instead of dating being a hopeful, faith-driven process, it can feel like a race against expectations. This shift can cause singles to prioritize “checking a box” over building a strong, meaningful relationship. The COVID-19 Pause All of our daters lived through the unique disruption of COVID-19, a time when dating all but stopped. Social events were canceled, gatherings were limited, and opportunities to meet new people disappeared overnight. What would normally be years filled with experiences such as, meeting friends of friends, attending football games or concerts, going on casual dates were replaced with isolation and uncertainty. For many, those “lost years” added to the sense of urgency and pressure once life began opening up again, as if they had to make up for lost time in dating and relationships. What Pressure Feels Like: From Others and from Self When questions from family pile up, it can feel like judgment, even when it’s not intended that way. Singles may start to hear not just their grandmother’s voice for example, but their own inner voice repeating: “I’m behind. Everyone else is moving forward.” This dual pressure (external from loved ones and internal from personal expectations) creates a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety that overshadows the joy of dating. Helpful tips when the pressure builds: Take a breath before responding. Redirect the conversation with kindness but firmness. Remind yourself of your progress in life outside of dating, such as your career, friendships, and spiritual growth. Journal or pray about your feelings to release the weight instead of carrying it inward. Talk to a trusted friend about how you are feeling. The First Step to Reframing The very first step in reframing marriage pressure is to shift the narrative from “I’m behind” to “ I’m preparing .” Instead of seeing singleness as a delay, see it as intentional preparation for the right match. This reframe keeps you aligned with faith, reminds you that your worth is not defined by relationship status, and centers your journey on building a relationship when the timing and the person are right. Acknowledge Their Intentions Remember that questions from grandparents or family usually come from a place of love, not judgment. Reframing their comments as care instead of criticism can help reduce the sting. Set Gentle Boundaries It’s okay to redirect the conversation: “I appreciate your concern. I’m focusing on meeting someone who shares my values, and that takes time.” Stay Rooted in Faith and Timing Trusting that the Lord’s timing is better than anyone else’s can bring peace. Choosing faith over fear keeps dating centered on eternal perspective rather than external pressure. Focus on Compatibility, Not Timelines The right match isn’t about speed. Remember it's about building a relationship founded on shared faith, core values, and chemistry. Marriage is a covenant worth waiting for. Finding Hope in the Process While the weight of family expectations can feel heavy, remember: you are not behind . Hope is found in trusting the process, leaning on faith, and knowing that true love isn’t about appeasing others it’s about creating a lasting, eternal partnership. At UT Match, we honor both tradition and individuality. We know your journey to marriage deserves support, not pressure and we’re here to help you find the right match with confidence.
August 1, 2025
Many single adults believe they will know instantly if they are attracted to someone.
July 3, 2025
Dating can feel like journey filled with highs and lows.
June 6, 2025
One of the most confusing and painful experiences is ghosting.
May 5, 2025
Core values is what determines whether love will last.
April 5, 2025
When it comes to dating two words often come up: chemistry and compatibility.
March 1, 2025
Many single adults find themselves caught in what's called a situationship.
February 4, 2025
Not in a relationship this Valentine's Day? Make the most of it.
Show More
October 7, 2025
Every six months, General Conference gives us a spiritual reset
September 29, 2025
General Conference is more than just a weekend of talks and delicious conference treats.
September 1, 2025
For many singles, dating is already complex by having to balance careers, faith, friendships, and personal goals. But within LDS culture especially, the expectations around marriage can feel even heavier. For example, family members can express their hopes with well-meaning questions: “ So, when are you getting married ?” or “ Have you met someone yet ?” While rooted in love, these questions can create stress rather than support. Where Does the Pressure Come From? Cultural Tradition Marriage has always been central in LDS teachings and culture. Older generations, raised in times when people typically married younger, can project that same timeline onto today’s daters. Expressions of Love and Concern Grandparents or parents can sometimes see marriage as a way to ensure happiness, stability, and that eternal family connection. Their questions, though repetitive, often stem from love and a desire to want their loved ones to be happy. Generational Differences Today’s dating landscape is vastly different from education, careers, and personal growth that often extend the timeline. Many family members may not fully understand the modern challenges singles face in finding a compatible partner. The Impact of Pressure Feeling pressured can sometimes lead to rushed decisions, unnecessary guilt, or frustration. Instead of dating being a hopeful, faith-driven process, it can feel like a race against expectations. This shift can cause singles to prioritize “checking a box” over building a strong, meaningful relationship. The COVID-19 Pause All of our daters lived through the unique disruption of COVID-19, a time when dating all but stopped. Social events were canceled, gatherings were limited, and opportunities to meet new people disappeared overnight. What would normally be years filled with experiences such as, meeting friends of friends, attending football games or concerts, going on casual dates were replaced with isolation and uncertainty. For many, those “lost years” added to the sense of urgency and pressure once life began opening up again, as if they had to make up for lost time in dating and relationships. What Pressure Feels Like: From Others and from Self When questions from family pile up, it can feel like judgment, even when it’s not intended that way. Singles may start to hear not just their grandmother’s voice for example, but their own inner voice repeating: “I’m behind. Everyone else is moving forward.” This dual pressure (external from loved ones and internal from personal expectations) creates a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety that overshadows the joy of dating. Helpful tips when the pressure builds: Take a breath before responding. Redirect the conversation with kindness but firmness. Remind yourself of your progress in life outside of dating, such as your career, friendships, and spiritual growth. Journal or pray about your feelings to release the weight instead of carrying it inward. Talk to a trusted friend about how you are feeling. The First Step to Reframing The very first step in reframing marriage pressure is to shift the narrative from “I’m behind” to “ I’m preparing .” Instead of seeing singleness as a delay, see it as intentional preparation for the right match. This reframe keeps you aligned with faith, reminds you that your worth is not defined by relationship status, and centers your journey on building a relationship when the timing and the person are right. Acknowledge Their Intentions Remember that questions from grandparents or family usually come from a place of love, not judgment. Reframing their comments as care instead of criticism can help reduce the sting. Set Gentle Boundaries It’s okay to redirect the conversation: “I appreciate your concern. I’m focusing on meeting someone who shares my values, and that takes time.” Stay Rooted in Faith and Timing Trusting that the Lord’s timing is better than anyone else’s can bring peace. Choosing faith over fear keeps dating centered on eternal perspective rather than external pressure. Focus on Compatibility, Not Timelines The right match isn’t about speed. Remember it's about building a relationship founded on shared faith, core values, and chemistry. Marriage is a covenant worth waiting for. Finding Hope in the Process While the weight of family expectations can feel heavy, remember: you are not behind . Hope is found in trusting the process, leaning on faith, and knowing that true love isn’t about appeasing others it’s about creating a lasting, eternal partnership. At UT Match, we honor both tradition and individuality. We know your journey to marriage deserves support, not pressure and we’re here to help you find the right match with confidence.
August 1, 2025
Many single adults believe they will know instantly if they are attracted to someone.
Show More

Have you ever felt like finding love should be easier with so many options out there?

Between dating apps, social media, and countless opportunities to meet new people, it can feel like you have endless options of potential partners.  But instead of bringing peace, all those choices can create anxiety, second-guessing, and hesitation to commit.


Welcome to the paradox of choice the modern dating dilemma where more options actually make it harder to choose, connect, and commit. 


What Is the Paradox of Choice?

The “paradox of choice” is a psychological concept introduced by Barry Schwartz, who found that while having some choice empowers us, having too many can lead to feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied. 


When applied to dating, this means that the more profiles, people, and possibilities we encounter, the harder it becomes to make a confident decision.  We may fear missing out on someone better, question our feelings, or avoid committing altogether.  Instead of enjoying the excitement of getting to know someone, we start evaluating them against hundreds of hypothetical “what-ifs” and genuine connection takes a back seat. 


How It Shows Up in Modern Dating

Modern dating, especially through apps, can feel like an endless scroll of faces.  Think about the following below and see if this might be what you are experiencing:   

  • Swipe through dozens of profiles a day but rarely go on meaningful dates.
  • Keep conversations light because you’re still “seeing what’s out there.”
  • End a promising connection quickly because something about the person you haven't met starts to annoy you. 
  • Feeling anxious committing to one person because another “perfect” match might appear next week.

These are all symptoms of choice overload!!  Instead of investing deeply in one person, many daters keep a “backup list,” continuously evaluating rather than experiencing.  The problem? Honestly, you cannot build real connection while constantly comparing, continuing to talk or text to your "backup lists" daily or weekly.  If you are doing this currently, it's time to take a step back and reflect.   


The Paradox of Choice in LDS Dating

In the LDS dating world, this challenge can take on a spiritual dimension.   Agency is the ability to choose, but it also comes with responsibility.  Having choices is a good thing.  It allows you to seek someone who aligns with your core values, life goals, and faith.  But when the abundance of choice turns into indecision, distraction, or fear of missing out, it becomes a roadblock to genuine love.  You might rationalize over and over why you keep waiting, when in reality, you might just be hesitant to commit because of the illusion of endless options.  Real relationships require courage, effort, and faith. 


Signs You’re in Choice Overload

If you’re wondering whether this sounds like you, here are a few signs:

  • You’re dating several people casually and you don’t feel ready to narrow down you list to focus on one person. 
  • You’ve ended multiple relationships because “something better” might come along.
  • You find yourself swiping or scrolling even when you’re already seeing someone promising.  This is a sign! 
  • You struggle to feel peace about committing, even when your core values align.
  • You feel anxious when someone likes you more than you like them not because they are wrong for you, but because you fear losing your independence.

Choice overload doesn’t mean you’re shallow or noncommittal it means you’re human.  But recognizing it is the first step toward changing it and realizing it's time to make some changes.


How to Choose Well and Commit Wisely

1. Know your non-negotiables: Before you date seriously, identify your top three or four core values, such as faith, family goals, emotional maturity, integrity, etc.  Let those guide your choices instead of superficial details like hobbies or height.

2. Limit your focus: You don’t need to talk to ten people to find one good match.  Give one promising connection your full attention and see how it goes. 

3. Be present, not perfect: No one will check every box including you!  Focus on progress, not perfection.  Look for shared growth, kindness, and compatibility in purpose, not just personality.

4. Commit to the process: Once you find someone who fits your values and sparks your interest, invest time and consistency.  Give the person a fair chance. 

5. Move forward with grace: If it doesn’t work, end it with kindness and clarity.  But don’t retreat into endless swiping or emotional detachment.  Each experience can prepare you for the right relationship if you are intentional about learning from it.


Final Thought

Love doesn’t flourish in endless options it grows when you choose someone.  In a world that tells you there’s always something better around the corner, we hope you have the courage to say, “I’ve found someone good, and I’m willing to see where this goes.”  Because sometimes, choosing well and committing wisely is what leads to the very best love story of all.

October 7, 2025
Every six months, General Conference gives us a spiritual reset
September 29, 2025
General Conference is more than just a weekend of talks and delicious conference treats.
September 1, 2025
For many singles, dating is already complex by having to balance careers, faith, friendships, and personal goals. But within LDS culture especially, the expectations around marriage can feel even heavier. For example, family members can express their hopes with well-meaning questions: “ So, when are you getting married ?” or “ Have you met someone yet ?” While rooted in love, these questions can create stress rather than support. Where Does the Pressure Come From? Cultural Tradition Marriage has always been central in LDS teachings and culture. Older generations, raised in times when people typically married younger, can project that same timeline onto today’s daters. Expressions of Love and Concern Grandparents or parents can sometimes see marriage as a way to ensure happiness, stability, and that eternal family connection. Their questions, though repetitive, often stem from love and a desire to want their loved ones to be happy. Generational Differences Today’s dating landscape is vastly different from education, careers, and personal growth that often extend the timeline. Many family members may not fully understand the modern challenges singles face in finding a compatible partner. The Impact of Pressure Feeling pressured can sometimes lead to rushed decisions, unnecessary guilt, or frustration. Instead of dating being a hopeful, faith-driven process, it can feel like a race against expectations. This shift can cause singles to prioritize “checking a box” over building a strong, meaningful relationship. The COVID-19 Pause All of our daters lived through the unique disruption of COVID-19, a time when dating all but stopped. Social events were canceled, gatherings were limited, and opportunities to meet new people disappeared overnight. What would normally be years filled with experiences such as, meeting friends of friends, attending football games or concerts, going on casual dates were replaced with isolation and uncertainty. For many, those “lost years” added to the sense of urgency and pressure once life began opening up again, as if they had to make up for lost time in dating and relationships. What Pressure Feels Like: From Others and from Self When questions from family pile up, it can feel like judgment, even when it’s not intended that way. Singles may start to hear not just their grandmother’s voice for example, but their own inner voice repeating: “I’m behind. Everyone else is moving forward.” This dual pressure (external from loved ones and internal from personal expectations) creates a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety that overshadows the joy of dating. Helpful tips when the pressure builds: Take a breath before responding. Redirect the conversation with kindness but firmness. Remind yourself of your progress in life outside of dating, such as your career, friendships, and spiritual growth. Journal or pray about your feelings to release the weight instead of carrying it inward. Talk to a trusted friend about how you are feeling. The First Step to Reframing The very first step in reframing marriage pressure is to shift the narrative from “I’m behind” to “ I’m preparing .” Instead of seeing singleness as a delay, see it as intentional preparation for the right match. This reframe keeps you aligned with faith, reminds you that your worth is not defined by relationship status, and centers your journey on building a relationship when the timing and the person are right. Acknowledge Their Intentions Remember that questions from grandparents or family usually come from a place of love, not judgment. Reframing their comments as care instead of criticism can help reduce the sting. Set Gentle Boundaries It’s okay to redirect the conversation: “I appreciate your concern. I’m focusing on meeting someone who shares my values, and that takes time.” Stay Rooted in Faith and Timing Trusting that the Lord’s timing is better than anyone else’s can bring peace. Choosing faith over fear keeps dating centered on eternal perspective rather than external pressure. Focus on Compatibility, Not Timelines The right match isn’t about speed. Remember it's about building a relationship founded on shared faith, core values, and chemistry. Marriage is a covenant worth waiting for. Finding Hope in the Process While the weight of family expectations can feel heavy, remember: you are not behind . Hope is found in trusting the process, leaning on faith, and knowing that true love isn’t about appeasing others it’s about creating a lasting, eternal partnership. At UT Match, we honor both tradition and individuality. We know your journey to marriage deserves support, not pressure and we’re here to help you find the right match with confidence.
August 1, 2025
Many single adults believe they will know instantly if they are attracted to someone.
July 3, 2025
Dating can feel like journey filled with highs and lows.
June 6, 2025
One of the most confusing and painful experiences is ghosting.
May 5, 2025
Core values is what determines whether love will last.
April 5, 2025
When it comes to dating two words often come up: chemistry and compatibility.
March 1, 2025
Many single adults find themselves caught in what's called a situationship.
February 4, 2025
Not in a relationship this Valentine's Day? Make the most of it.
Show More