Why Nobody’s Asking Anyone Out Anymore

December 17, 2025
December 27, 2025
One of the most common things I find myself telling singles lately is simple but not easy:
November 28, 2025
Before UT Match ever existed…I was sitting alone in my Singles Ward at the University of Utah (what we used to call our ward) wondering if I’d find my place.
November 15, 2025
If you watched KSL’s “Waiting to Wed” and felt like they were describing you...you’re not alone.
November 5, 2025
Have you ever felt like finding love should be easier with so many options out there?
October 7, 2025
Every six months, General Conference gives us a spiritual reset
September 29, 2025
General Conference is more than just a weekend of talks and delicious conference treats.
September 1, 2025
For many singles, dating is already complex by having to balance careers, faith, friendships, and personal goals. But within LDS culture especially, the expectations around marriage can feel even heavier. For example, family members can express their hopes with well-meaning questions: “ So, when are you getting married ?” or “ Have you met someone yet ?” While rooted in love, these questions can create stress rather than support. Where Does the Pressure Come From? Cultural Tradition Marriage has always been central in LDS teachings and culture. Older generations, raised in times when people typically married younger, can project that same timeline onto today’s daters. Expressions of Love and Concern Grandparents or parents can sometimes see marriage as a way to ensure happiness, stability, and that eternal family connection. Their questions, though repetitive, often stem from love and a desire to want their loved ones to be happy. Generational Differences Today’s dating landscape is vastly different from education, careers, and personal growth that often extend the timeline. Many family members may not fully understand the modern challenges singles face in finding a compatible partner. The Impact of Pressure Feeling pressured can sometimes lead to rushed decisions, unnecessary guilt, or frustration. Instead of dating being a hopeful, faith-driven process, it can feel like a race against expectations. This shift can cause singles to prioritize “checking a box” over building a strong, meaningful relationship. The COVID-19 Pause All of our daters lived through the unique disruption of COVID-19, a time when dating all but stopped. Social events were canceled, gatherings were limited, and opportunities to meet new people disappeared overnight. What would normally be years filled with experiences such as, meeting friends of friends, attending football games or concerts, going on casual dates were replaced with isolation and uncertainty. For many, those “lost years” added to the sense of urgency and pressure once life began opening up again, as if they had to make up for lost time in dating and relationships. What Pressure Feels Like: From Others and from Self When questions from family pile up, it can feel like judgment, even when it’s not intended that way. Singles may start to hear not just their grandmother’s voice for example, but their own inner voice repeating: “I’m behind. Everyone else is moving forward.” This dual pressure (external from loved ones and internal from personal expectations) creates a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety that overshadows the joy of dating. Helpful tips when the pressure builds: Take a breath before responding. Redirect the conversation with kindness but firmness. Remind yourself of your progress in life outside of dating, such as your career, friendships, and spiritual growth. Journal or pray about your feelings to release the weight instead of carrying it inward. Talk to a trusted friend about how you are feeling. The First Step to Reframing The very first step in reframing marriage pressure is to shift the narrative from “I’m behind” to “ I’m preparing .” Instead of seeing singleness as a delay, see it as intentional preparation for the right match. This reframe keeps you aligned with faith, reminds you that your worth is not defined by relationship status, and centers your journey on building a relationship when the timing and the person are right. Acknowledge Their Intentions Remember that questions from grandparents or family usually come from a place of love, not judgment. Reframing their comments as care instead of criticism can help reduce the sting. Set Gentle Boundaries It’s okay to redirect the conversation: “I appreciate your concern. I’m focusing on meeting someone who shares my values, and that takes time.” Stay Rooted in Faith and Timing Trusting that the Lord’s timing is better than anyone else’s can bring peace. Choosing faith over fear keeps dating centered on eternal perspective rather than external pressure. Focus on Compatibility, Not Timelines The right match isn’t about speed. Remember it's about building a relationship founded on shared faith, core values, and chemistry. Marriage is a covenant worth waiting for. Finding Hope in the Process While the weight of family expectations can feel heavy, remember: you are not behind . Hope is found in trusting the process, leaning on faith, and knowing that true love isn’t about appeasing others it’s about creating a lasting, eternal partnership. At UT Match, we honor both tradition and individuality. We know your journey to marriage deserves support, not pressure and we’re here to help you find the right match with confidence.
August 1, 2025
Many single adults believe they will know instantly if they are attracted to someone.
July 3, 2025
Dating can feel like journey filled with highs and lows.
June 6, 2025
One of the most confusing and painful experiences is ghosting.
Show More
December 27, 2025
One of the most common things I find myself telling singles lately is simple but not easy:
November 28, 2025
Before UT Match ever existed…I was sitting alone in my Singles Ward at the University of Utah (what we used to call our ward) wondering if I’d find my place.
November 15, 2025
If you watched KSL’s “Waiting to Wed” and felt like they were describing you...you’re not alone.
November 5, 2025
Have you ever felt like finding love should be easier with so many options out there?
Show More

If you’re a single Latter-day Saint right now, you’ve probably noticed something shifting: People are texting, but not dating. 

Women match with men who text endlessly, but never take the next step.  Men match with women, but feel unsure how to lead or cannot tell if their effort is welcome.  Both sides feel frustration, confusion, and discouragement.  It’s not that people don’t want connection…they do!  It’s that modern dating culture has made everyone hesitant.


At UT Match, we see the emotional weight of this every day.  Women want to feel pursued, chosen, and worth the effort.  Men want to feel appreciated, respected, and confident enough to take initiative.  Everybody is tired!  And LDS dating culture is feeling it deeply.


What’s Happening Culturally

A few major forces have created this slowdown on both sides we believe:

   1. Digital conversation has replaced real-world courage:  Think about this…messaging feels safe.  Asking someone out feels risky.  So people text, chat, banter, but rarely meet. 

    2. Fear of rejection is higher than it’s ever been:  Men and women both worry about things like will they come across as too forward or desperate.  Fear makes people protect themselves rather than pursue someone.

   3. Confusion about roles has replaced confidence:  Do men lead?  Should women ask? Does asking for a date mean you're “too serious”?  Should the date be casual or formal?  Who pays?  Should the date be longer than an hour?  Is two hours over doing it?  Will I feel socially drained if the date is longer?   With no clear norms, people avoid making the first move entirely.

    4. Discouragement is becoming the dominant emotion:  Women stop responding because they’re tired of the texting going nowhere.  Men stop asking because they’re tired of being misunderstood or rejected.  Discouragement (not disinterest) is shutting dating down.


The YSA Layer

LDS dating tends to have a spiritual lens.  Dating has a purpose with the end goal that leads to marriage.   LDS singles aren’t dating casually they’re hoping for a companion, a partnership, a future.


But that purpose can accidentally create pressure to get it right immediately, fear of choosing wrong, high expectations for instant chemistry, hesitation to try again after disappointment and perfectionism in evaluating potential partners.


In a community that values marriage, the fear of failure in dating becomes especially heavy. This makes LDS singles more cautious, more selective, and sometimes more passive than they intend to be or should be.  It’s not that people don’t want dating to work.  It’s that they don’t want to make mistakes.  So they wait… and wait…and nothing happens.


How to Get Dating Moving

We have found these ideas below work whether you’re using UT Match or navigating dating on your own:

   1. Replace endless texting with real invitations: Texting should create opportunity, but not replace it.  If you are interested it’s time to take the next step.  You ask the person out on a date!  Since it’s winter, it could be something as easy as: “This has been fun.  Do you want to get lunch or dinner this week?”   This is low-pressure and clear.

    2. Keep the first date simple: Planning stops many men from asking.  Guys, remember if you ask her out, you are taking her on a date.  This will take some planning, and you should plan to pay for the date.  A simple first date is fine as long as you plan the date out.  It could be a lunch date, a dinner date, a dessert date, a short hike, a walk around a park, browsing a bookstore together or just going to play pickleball.  Connection grows through shared experiences, not rushed 30 minute "dates" to see if there is a spark.   

   3. Give grace to awkward moments:  Remember everyone is nervous.  Awkward isn’t a red flag...it’s human.  Second chances often reveal who someone really is.

    4. Show appreciation for effort:  A sincere “Thanks for asking me out” or “I appreciate you planning this” makes people feel valued and it encourages them to keep showing up.

    5. Stop looking for perfection:  Instead of asking, “Is this person perfect?” try asking, “Could this person be good for me?” or “Do they have the values and character that matter long-term?” Dating opens when perfectionism loosens.


How UT Match Helps Rebuild a Culture of Real Dating

At UT Match, we see the discouragement on both sides and we help you navigate through it. 

Here’s how we move dating forward:

  • We eliminate the ambiguity.  Our matches come ready to meet in person.
  • We encourage intentional, real-world dates, not endless digital conversations.
  • We coach men and women in confidence, clarity, and healthy expectations.
  • We reduce pressure so people can relax and enjoy getting to know someone.

We are rebuilding a dating culture that feels hopeful again!


Dating Thrives When We Choose Courage

The slowdown in LDS dating isn’t because people don’t care.  It’s because many good people have become cautious, tired, and unsure how to move forward and that hesitation has slowly replaced effort.  You need effort to date. 


We believe dating doesn’t come back to life through better apps, more texting, or waiting for the perfect moment.  It comes back when people decide to show up! 


We believe dating works when someone takes initiative (even when it feels uncomfortable), responds with kindness instead of judgment, when both people show up with intention, and everyone gives each other a fair chance.


Real dating has always required courage!  Courage to ask.  Courage to say yes.  Courage to risk awkwardness, rejection, or uncertainty because connection is worth it in the end.  That’s the kind of dating culture we believe in.  Where kindness leads.  Where faith replaces fear!  And when you’re ready to take that step UT Match is here to support you, guide you, and help dating feel hopeful again.  Because sometimes the only thing standing between you and a meaningful connection is one small, brave sentence: “Would you like to go out this week?” 



December 27, 2025
One of the most common things I find myself telling singles lately is simple but not easy:
November 28, 2025
Before UT Match ever existed…I was sitting alone in my Singles Ward at the University of Utah (what we used to call our ward) wondering if I’d find my place.
November 15, 2025
If you watched KSL’s “Waiting to Wed” and felt like they were describing you...you’re not alone.
November 5, 2025
Have you ever felt like finding love should be easier with so many options out there?
October 7, 2025
Every six months, General Conference gives us a spiritual reset
September 29, 2025
General Conference is more than just a weekend of talks and delicious conference treats.
September 1, 2025
For many singles, dating is already complex by having to balance careers, faith, friendships, and personal goals. But within LDS culture especially, the expectations around marriage can feel even heavier. For example, family members can express their hopes with well-meaning questions: “ So, when are you getting married ?” or “ Have you met someone yet ?” While rooted in love, these questions can create stress rather than support. Where Does the Pressure Come From? Cultural Tradition Marriage has always been central in LDS teachings and culture. Older generations, raised in times when people typically married younger, can project that same timeline onto today’s daters. Expressions of Love and Concern Grandparents or parents can sometimes see marriage as a way to ensure happiness, stability, and that eternal family connection. Their questions, though repetitive, often stem from love and a desire to want their loved ones to be happy. Generational Differences Today’s dating landscape is vastly different from education, careers, and personal growth that often extend the timeline. Many family members may not fully understand the modern challenges singles face in finding a compatible partner. The Impact of Pressure Feeling pressured can sometimes lead to rushed decisions, unnecessary guilt, or frustration. Instead of dating being a hopeful, faith-driven process, it can feel like a race against expectations. This shift can cause singles to prioritize “checking a box” over building a strong, meaningful relationship. The COVID-19 Pause All of our daters lived through the unique disruption of COVID-19, a time when dating all but stopped. Social events were canceled, gatherings were limited, and opportunities to meet new people disappeared overnight. What would normally be years filled with experiences such as, meeting friends of friends, attending football games or concerts, going on casual dates were replaced with isolation and uncertainty. For many, those “lost years” added to the sense of urgency and pressure once life began opening up again, as if they had to make up for lost time in dating and relationships. What Pressure Feels Like: From Others and from Self When questions from family pile up, it can feel like judgment, even when it’s not intended that way. Singles may start to hear not just their grandmother’s voice for example, but their own inner voice repeating: “I’m behind. Everyone else is moving forward.” This dual pressure (external from loved ones and internal from personal expectations) creates a cycle of self-doubt and anxiety that overshadows the joy of dating. Helpful tips when the pressure builds: Take a breath before responding. Redirect the conversation with kindness but firmness. Remind yourself of your progress in life outside of dating, such as your career, friendships, and spiritual growth. Journal or pray about your feelings to release the weight instead of carrying it inward. Talk to a trusted friend about how you are feeling. The First Step to Reframing The very first step in reframing marriage pressure is to shift the narrative from “I’m behind” to “ I’m preparing .” Instead of seeing singleness as a delay, see it as intentional preparation for the right match. This reframe keeps you aligned with faith, reminds you that your worth is not defined by relationship status, and centers your journey on building a relationship when the timing and the person are right. Acknowledge Their Intentions Remember that questions from grandparents or family usually come from a place of love, not judgment. Reframing their comments as care instead of criticism can help reduce the sting. Set Gentle Boundaries It’s okay to redirect the conversation: “I appreciate your concern. I’m focusing on meeting someone who shares my values, and that takes time.” Stay Rooted in Faith and Timing Trusting that the Lord’s timing is better than anyone else’s can bring peace. Choosing faith over fear keeps dating centered on eternal perspective rather than external pressure. Focus on Compatibility, Not Timelines The right match isn’t about speed. Remember it's about building a relationship founded on shared faith, core values, and chemistry. Marriage is a covenant worth waiting for. Finding Hope in the Process While the weight of family expectations can feel heavy, remember: you are not behind . Hope is found in trusting the process, leaning on faith, and knowing that true love isn’t about appeasing others it’s about creating a lasting, eternal partnership. At UT Match, we honor both tradition and individuality. We know your journey to marriage deserves support, not pressure and we’re here to help you find the right match with confidence.
August 1, 2025
Many single adults believe they will know instantly if they are attracted to someone.
July 3, 2025
Dating can feel like journey filled with highs and lows.
June 6, 2025
One of the most confusing and painful experiences is ghosting.
Show More