Are You Looking for the Right Person or the Perfect Person?

When it comes to dating, there's a big difference between knowing what you want and being open to what you might need.

We all have a list.  Maybe yours includes someone who's tall, athletic, successful, outgoing, or loves the same hobbies you do. There's nothing wrong with knowing what you're attracted to or having preferences when it comes to dating.  But here's something we have noticed: Sometimes the very things people think they must have in a partner are the things keeping them from meeting someone really wonderful.

At UT Match, we talk with singles all the time who genuinely want to find a meaningful relationship. They want to get married, build a life together, and find someone who shares their faith and values.  But sometimes their list of requirements is so specific that they overlook people who could actually be a great match.

And we get it!  Dating is personal. Attraction matters. Shared interests can be fun. But so do kindness, emotional maturity, communication, and the ability to work through life's challenges together.

Think about it. Would you rather date someone who checks every physical box on your list but struggles to communicate? Or someone who might not be your usual type but makes you laugh, treats you with respect, and genuinely wants to build something meaningful?

We are certainly not suggesting you settle. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We' are suggesting you give yourself permission to be surprised! Some of the best relationships begin with two people who might never have chosen each other based on a dating profile alone.

That's one of the reasons we love matchmaking and date coaching.  We get to look beyond the photos and the checklists and consider who two people really are. Their personalities, values, goals, and what they hope their future will look like.  Of course, chemistry matters too. But sometimes chemistry grows when you take the time to get to know someone.

So here's a little challenge for your next date: Instead of focusing on whether someone checks every box, ask yourself a few different questions.

• Did I enjoy spending time with this person?
• Did I feel comfortable being myself?
• Was I curious to learn more about them?
• Do we share values that matter for a lasting relationship?

You might be surprised by your answers.

Dating doesn't have to mean lowering your standards. Sometimes it just means taking a closer look at which standards really matter.  Because the right person might not look exactly like the person you imagined. And that could turn out to be a really good thing.